There’s little words can do describe the Cronenbergian body horror of this BMW E60 5-Series with a replica of the new M3/M4’s big-kidney grille.
The G80 M3’s grille is challenging at the best of times, but I think even its designer would be horrified at this swap. For sale on Taobao, a Chinese online marketplace, this grille actually makes us appreciate how much work went into making the M3/M4 look as they do.
With the new grille, the Dame Edna Everage-faced the 5-Series looks a bit like one of those Ferraris made out of a Fiero. The kidneys are so low down on the front fascia that they look like they might slide off. It’s a bit like Inspector Clouseau’s fake nose melting off in The Pink Panther Strikes Again.
There is something interesting to be gleaned here, though. While we all write loudly and vehemently that the big grilles are not welcome, somebody is (potentially) making money off selling swaps. That would suggest that some people like the new “big mouth.”
BMW has long maintained that they designed their big grille with a particular set of buyers in mind and this would suggest that there are, indeed, some people who really earnestly like it enough to do it to their car. CarWow’s Mat Watson has bravely come out in gentle defense of the grille.
Or maybe it just proves that the internet is big enough to cater to any fancy, no matter how niche. Hard to say for sure.
Either way, if you’re one of the people to whom this appeals, you can take a look at Taobao. There are several sellers offering the kit at around 2,500 Yuan, which is just $380 USD plus whatever it costs for installation.